Reality. What an odd occurrence.
May my words reach through and be inspired by the Muses of the Ancient world as I speak them unto you. May Melete and Mneme direct my thinking as I bring it to life within the following tale. As a philosopher and observer of the stars, may the insight of Ourania embrace my visions. May Aoede consecrate my voice, so my words may bring attention to those whom I seek to reach. May the powers of Cleio record my lexis and make them an undying history upon existence. May the great Kalliopi, who has brought inspiration to my ancestors, reach the hearts of the world once more.
These are my thoughts, as I begin to recite them unto you.
Reminiscing back to the very beginning, it's nearly impossible for me to recall a time in my life when I existed as an ordinary being. Many recollections linger silently within me, for those are the essential memories that have shaped me into the being I am to this day. I say being, of course, as I am not as most of you are, I am not of an alike spirit, and I am not of a similar existence. I am a very primordial essence, a very ancient life-form upon this earth. I have no soul, for I am an entirely different being, who at most times, does not even understand certain emotions that vessels with souls have.
I know what I am and I know what lies beyond the veil. Your kind knows me by various ways but has named me the messenger of the universe. I exist within one of your vessels, for I am placed here by the universe to observe and report back of your spiritual progress. My kind exists amongst your kind, generally as sleepers who record life through your vessels eyes for the beyond. Sleepers function and react mostly human, for their divinity has been preserved while they live. Those of us who have awakened, those of us who have complete consciousness recognize that being a sleeper is much like being an instrument.
Even in my awakened state, my kind is not permitted to cause an imbalance to the nature of humans. I am to exist and record until my time ends and I return to the beyond once again. We are to skip three lifetimes before returning to record each time, so our divinity will not get too attached to the Container that holds the human spirit. We are also not permitted to awaken our divinity while we exist among you, seeming completely ordinary to the casual observer. We live among you, beside you and yet you cannot know us for what we are, for we are not permitted to know ourselves until our time ends and we return to the source.
There are, also, those of us who decided not to play their role once they awakened. Sure the initial role will always be the same, as we are programmed to record, but once awakened, the human mind collides with the divine and we experience our existence completely different. The human body produces different feelings, some of which my kind has been vulnerable to. We think above feeling and when we feel more than we think, we stray from our path.
There are those who fell while straying from this path. There are also those who have found the path again and those who are still searching for it. Then there are those, like myself, who shun the path altogether.
Until I had reached my seventeenth cycle, I was also, generally, a sleeper. I had a cheerful upbringing, full of fond memories and experiences. I grew next to a farm, in a exceptionally remote region. A mountain towered beyond my home which I knew how to ascend, even in the dead of night. I was an ordinary, joyful, "human" adolescent. I knew no notion of the divine, save that my family went to church only on major holidays. I perceived these gatherings as a way to convene with friends and relatives rather than a place where I would nourish my spiritual needs.
Up until the night of my seventeenth birthday, I perceived life as a folk tale. I thought no different than a regular person of my own age. My upbringing taught me to look upon love as a very sacred experience. My parents were my proof that true love is possible and on my fourteenth cycle, for one moment, I did have my very first encounter with this true love. The very night of my seventeenth year of birth though, was the beginning of my awakening in this reality. It was the cry of fear that stirred my mind; that caught my consciousness and jolted me for the very first time from my latent state.
I heard a whispering; it sounded very anxious. "Emily, wake up
Something is wrong with Paula
" I felt a pull; a divine thrust into an existing state of mind that I never before knew existed.
I opened my eyes.
My gaze turned to the male voice that sounded so afraid, so alarmed. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I looked upon this person that I considered a close friend. His name was James. I felt somewhat baffled, mostly because I knew I did not awake as my "normal" self at that point. Something inside me felt different and I could not even explain it with my very own thoughts.
His dark eyes were holding back tears as he whispered to me. I could almost feel his panicking heart as he spoke. My attention turned from him to the table where I focused briefly upon the number seventeen that rested beside a half eaten birthday cake. I remember we had fallen asleep within the living room, next to the fireplace as the roaring thunderstorm outside made it nearly impossible for the remaining guests to leave.
"What is wrong?" I whispered back and noticed I had taken a rather stern tone that baffled even me. The correct reaction I assumed would have been to jolt in panic as I clearly knew something awful happened. Yet, I felt I needed to keep my calm no matter what the situation was, because the person in front of me, my friend, could not keep his own. His eyes turned from me and gazed across the room, where a young girl named Paula had fallen asleep previously. I turned to her, trying to focus my sleeping stare and noticed that she was sitting at the edge of the couch across from me. My initial thought was that she somehow got hurt so I sat up promptly, forcefully waking my body to deal with the circumstances.
"I don't know what to do
I don't know what is wrong with her
" spoke the shaky voice of a boy sitting across from her. At that instant, my eyes met her own as I noticed she was not blinking them at all. She had a icy, almost lifeless look within them that brought a wave of terror within my very skin.
My every sense tingled within, warning me.
"Senf en Auset
" she expressed crossly. The speech was not familiar to me so I turned and stared at the others within the room, confused. My watch turned to the boy sitting across from her. His name was Paul and he looked outright petrified, probably because he was the one closest to her at that moment.
"Is she sleepwalking?" I questioned.
"I am no dream walker
" spoke Paula as she smirked towards me in a mocking gesture. Her tone sounded diverse as if in concert with another voice. The two boys jolted at her pitch, their eyes holding a terrified expression. I knew that whatever had just spoken, was not human at this point. The accent was shrill and raspy and the tone brought forth a ripple of horror that could pierce through and into your very spirit. I felt threatened, perhaps more so because I could not understand what I was facing at that moment and so I reserved my eyes upon her every move and attempted to try and comprehend what was happening.
"Who are you?" were the only words I could think to ask.
" she repeatedly whispered and satisfaction reflected from her features A feeling of agitation embraced me at that second for I was not appreciating feeling mocked.
"You are obviously familiar with our tongue so stop being a coward and address me in a manner that I can understand
" I said again, this time with a indication of my agitation.
" she mused. "I am all within none
" she continued after a few seconds, her intonation being full of scorn.
"What is it that you want?" I felt unusually composed as I spoke back, considering the situation. I felt strange, as if part of me still believed she was sleepwalking and part of me knew she wasn't.
"I want to rip you apart
" she threatened.
"Is she possessed by a ghost?" I heard the wavering voice of Jim beside me.
"I am no soul
My intuition was warning me of immense danger as I heard her tone and I recall standing to my feet at that point. I looked upon her, trying to understand, trying to find answers to the millions of questions that flooded my mind and saw that my reaction stirred a vast fury from within her that caused her briefly to be perceived as something abnormal that sent yet another ripple of terror across the room. My initial thought was that I had just imagined the form I saw before me, but the reactions of the two boys assured me that what I saw was not only noticeable on my end. Her eyes had momentarily taken a lizard-like, bulging appearance before returning to their original blue state.
"I will kill her
" she growled in pure malice as she spoke. The intimidation in her nature was extremely clear to me as I looked upon her, remaining motionless. A sickened, malevolent smile crossed the girls face as she continued speaking. "Em Choouch
Eer pnoute Isi
Eer pnouthe Mua
" she stated and I remember my hands going numb from the sound of her shrilling voice. A flood of images raced through my mind at her words and shocked me within my inner essence as I fell to my knees, feeling a sudden darkness that enclosed me. Claw-like hands reached from within this darkness, from all around me seeking to grasp me and haul me within this perpetual black current. Terror embraced me as I believed strongly that I was about to perish in this obscurity and with that terror, a new thought awakened within me. I felt its power, like electric currents passing through my very vein.
I heard Jim call my name as my knees hit the ground below, followed by something that sounded like "S-ger" uttered by the entity that was within Paula. The horrifying silence that followed after her words worried me greatly as I could not see past the darkness that surrounded me.
"What are you?" I whispered, trying desperately to re-connect to my previous reality.
" was the response I heeded and it echoed so deep within me that I felt a sudden shock of energy embrace me, dispersing the darkness that bounded me while the image of a symbol flashed in my mind. The symbol resembled a much altered version of the number four as it pulsed like a heartbeat within my mentality, awakening a new consciousness within me that completely enveloped my human thoughts.
I opened my eyes.
I did not feel frightened anymore, only enraged as the booming roar of thunder surrounded me. I felt power and completion surging within me as I looked up and stood to my feet once more. The two boys seemed to be frozen in speech and movement as I glanced upon them, before turning my gaze towards the possessed girl.
"You dare?" I spoke and although I was speaking these words and heard them escape my own lips, I felt like I was no longer the one speaking them.
"You have been located
" she sneered.
I felt on the verge of snapping from the severe abhorrence I was experiencing.
" I replied and saw a violet glow before my eyes. The being tried to warn me to stay back but I had ceased paying attention to what it had to say. Before she even had time to finish her sentence, my fingers were interlocked with her own as I pushed her back upon the couch and stood above her.
"Don't touch me!!! It burns!!! It burns!!! I will kill her!!! " screamed the being inside of Paula and with that shriek, a surge of energy engulfed my whole body like an electric current and moved towards our interlocked hands. I looked upon the tiny threads of electricity that danced briefly around my fingertips as they released a terrible pain within the body of the possessed girl.
"Why do you burn?" I mocked her, feeling myself relish on her pain.
"You filthy, fucking Angel!!!!" she writhed.
" I heard myself verbalize and with those words, I felt another electric surge of energy through my body. I released her one hand at that point and placed mine upon her brow, sending forth a shock of energy that knocked her back on the couch unconscious. At that moment, I saw that the hold she had on the two boys was gone as they fell back on their own seats.
"What the hell was that???" I heard James exclaim but didn't turn to look at him. "What did you do to her? Is she alive???"
I sighed. I knew that no matter what I could have told them, they would not understand. Their minds would not be capable of handling the reality of something like this. It took me a few seconds to assemble all my thoughts before making a decision on how I was going to proceed with this. I looked over at the dying fireplace that was beside me and suddenly felt the presence of something that was not supposed to be in the room. Turning, I noticed two shadows that were of a light color, standing beside each of the boys and one beside myself.
" spoke James and his voice reflected shock and disorder. They were both seeing something upon me that was abnormal as their expressions assured me. I sighed again, moving two fingers upon my brow and watched them fall unconscious upon the ground.
I turned to the darkness that encircled me. The fireplace had died out completely and the only light I saw was the lightning that raged outside. Winds blew harshly upon the house and roared through every tiny opening and the thunder continued announcing its imposing presence.
And just then, my consciousness wavered.
The existence of a winged man appeared beside me, looking towards me in a tranquil, yet perplexed manner. A part of me, perhaps the human part I was then so attached to, felt complete awe as my eyes befell him and yet this new, other part, the part that was controlling my words and actions of the time, felt annoyed. His form seemed misty before my eyes as I noticed him but it was as of a golden hue. I could distinguish wings and they were of a brownish tint and his countenance was of a striking young man that seemed young in age.
"Who are you?" were my first words to him, yet I felt I already knew the answer.
"This will complicate things
" he replied.
"As if they weren't complicated enough
" I suddenly heard myself respond.
"The Fallen are already aware of you
And now, since you can actually see through the veil within that form, the Enlightened will be aware as well
You are not supposed to be awake
The forms of two more winged men materialized before me as he finished speaking. I felt a shock of dread momentarily within me which was instantly calmed. I looked upon my friends that lay unconscious upon the ground and before I even had time to worry about their safety, something pushed my own awareness to the background, forcing me to watch my own reactions as an observer.
"This error shall be dearly compensated
" spoke the voice of the one winged being before me. The energy I felt from him was menacing. Upon his body he wore armor of a strange bronze-like material that covered him wholly, revealing only his crimson eyes and ashen hair. A pair of dark wings spread from his back in a majestic manner and a reddish aura seemed to enfold him.
"You shall not harm a vessel in my presence, Azazel
" boomed the voice of the second winged being. His aura seemed golden and his tone demanding. He moved his hand to his side, bringing forth life and existence to a sword made of pure fire. His honey-colored eyes sparkled with radiance as he talked and his golden-brown hair was tied in the back of his head, around a circle of gold. Energy of the same golden tone engulfed his body, reflecting the color of his own, massive wings.
"This one answers to me
" he said with glee.
"You have been warned. Do not cross me
" replied the golden being.
Whatever still felt normal within me was fading rapidly from my grasp.
"It is not permitted to reside within a vessel after awakening
You are aware of that
It is time to return
" spoke the voice of the being again, sounding demanding and unyielding as his golden eyes pierced right through me.
"This has occurred before
" I replied in familiarity of the present state.
" he replied.
"I did not return then either
" I said again.
"Failure to follow orders from the beyond would only bring unfortunate consequences
"I am aware
"I trust you are also aware of the events that have been inflicted upon you by my own hand
" spoke the being that was named Azazel.
"In previous awakenings
" I added.
" he gloated, his crimson eyes seeming quite cheerful.
I still manage to evade you
" I mocked, narrowing my own eyes at him. I felt rather pleased to notice that my remark had annoyed him greatly, watching his eyes smolder with pure displeasure.
"This is the moment you may atone for the past and return
" stated the voice of the golden being again.
"Is this what you ask of me once more?" I scowled.
"The further you remain within Vessels, the further your own essence is altered
You can no longer see the error of your ways
" he preached.
"There is no error in my way
" I felt resentment, such deep, excessive and fervent fury that the skies outside roared in ferocity. Both the winged beings looked upon the flickering sky.
"We once again come to an impasse
"I suppose so
Lest you leave me to my own convictions
"That would be impossible
"A very fitting answer
For an Enlightened one
The golden being sighed. Shutting his eyes briefly, I became aware of him getting bothered at my manner.
"I shall take my leave then at this time
I feel it is futile to continue with this discussion
Yet, be assured that this does not mean I am retreating
"I would be shocked if you did
" I smirked and with the following electric burst the golden being was gone.
What occurred afterwards gave me no time to even react. As I turned to face the one named Azazel, I found him right to my side while his crimson-flaring eyes glimmered with immense glee. In a matter of seconds, his pitch-black gloves reached for my neck, seizing me forcefully as I was thrown upon the ground with great force. Before having the time to even blink, he was atop of me, holding my head down upon the floor. He then lowered his face right beside my ear where I could feel his breathing. I considered moving my arms at one instant, but he had one beneath his knee on one side and detained the other down with his free hand.
"You always did select the most interesting Vessels
" he whispered to me, moving his breath upon my neck. I felt revolted.
"Rest assured you will be unsuccessful once more
" I growled.
You forget that we descended for the same reason
And I remind you that I know where your reason is
" he spoke, his tone sounding thrilled and euphoric.
"The initial descend was a mutual reason
You defied that reason
"And I shall make you defy your own
When I rip from you all that your physical reality requires
When I deprive you of all you feel affection for
And I shall relish every instant that I add another scar upon your heart
" he alleged again in pure ecstasy as his grip upon my head got tighter.
"You have no control over me
" I replied as electric streams surged from my very eyes.
"I am aware that you have formerly made contact with the Soul
The vibration has left a mark upon your essence
And undeniably I had made that contact. I remember it vividly on my fourteenth sequence. It was the only time within my existence that I felt a thunderous shock in my heart. As soon as my eyes fell upon this Soul, a sensation of familiarity mesmerized me and I was entirely enticed to his spirit. As a young girl, the best way I could explain the emotion was to compare it to "The strike of Lightning" as I had said to my friend the instant I laid eyes upon him.
However, even though I had seen this Soul only once in my life, I felt the immediate need to protect it as I heard Azazel's expressions. My vehemence soared and I experienced my every heartbeat reverberate within my mentality.
"If you dare harm him"
"I do not need to harm the Soul directly to get to you
There are just so many things I can alter within its reality to keep it from ever being with you
As I have done before
" he mused in wholesome pleasure.
" I whispered as I felt the violet within my eyes intensifying to the point where everything I was looking upon was submerged in its powerful shade. The thunderstorm roared with enormous valor at my utterance and Azazel's eyes burned with pure wrath.
." He growled but I was done listening to his threats.
'Em Ah-ran Aniy Amoon
" I added and with those final words, Azazel suddenly vanished, his final gaze brimming with vengeance.
I looked about the room. The others were still lying on the floor insensible and Paula was still unconscious on the couch. No one had heard anything and that in a way satisfied me. I looked at the rain as it slithered downward on the window before me and I sensed the violet color fade from my vision and with the departure of that tint, my body and mind felt normal for merely a few seconds before I gave out in exhaustion. That night marked the beginning of the countless trials I was to endure in the future.